Forgiving Yourself

Having the tendency to dwell on mistakes,

tear yourself up over them,

and then wave a white flag in defeat,

will never lead you to improving.

Think of Peter.

He denied knowing and walking with Christ.

He denied faithfully standing by his side

He denied all of this three times.

"And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he

had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice."

I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be in Peter's shoes. 

Making a mistake I can barely handle my earthly father's "look"

let alone the loving, understanding, majestic, disapproving look upon my mistake

of Him who suffered all of our sins and has an understanding of each of us perfectly.  

I can imagine my reaction being much like Peter's:

 

"And Peter went out, and wept bitterly."

 

Imagine if Peter gave up.

 

If he tore himself apart in worldly sorrow, throwing up the white flag,

 

instead of becoming a tool in God's hand through Godly sorrow.

 

Think of the miracles that would have gone undone!

Think of how much of the Bible we wouldn't have today.

Don't tear yourself up.

Counsel with God,

Allow His Son's grace to work inside of you,

and continue to be the instrument He wants you to be.

Don't let Satan win.

#wearthewinningjersey

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

 

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Look Not Behind Thee

Elder Holland gave a talk at BYU and it was exactly what I needed to hear:

"Try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before,

I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays,

however good those yesterdays may have been.

The past is to be learned from but not lived in.

We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes." -Elder Holland

This quote hit me and I realized I had been dwelling on days that are now gone

I would never be able to go back!

But how I wished I could.

I didn't have to forget it and give it up completely,

I could still find the Joy and Love from those memories!

Realizing the Joy I felt, I wouldn't trade those memories for anything!

I was holding on to those memories and not realizing,

that I was missing the ones that were happening right in front of me!

"And when we have learned what we need to learn

and have brought with us the best that we have experienced,

then we look ahead,

we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future." -Elder Holland

The future is incredible.

Look forward to it and find joy!

I can testify that Christ gave us the miracle of being able to be forgiven

not for us to mourn and dwell on the events of the past,

but to look towards the future with hope and faith.

Look FORWARD.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 

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Vestibulitis

I couldn't help but cry in frustration as we drove away from yet another doctor's appointment with questions unanswered.

For nearly two months I had been nauseous and dizzy enough to keep me out of school and laying down with little to no energy.

I had become discouraged.

Missing school and being house ridden was taking it's toll.

Hopping from doctor to doctor, medication to medication, the problem continued and the questions remained unanswered.

Then the miracles began.

My dad happened to have a connection to a doctor that was willing to see me on such short notice.

The doctor worked in a pretty prestigious hospital and it was a miracle she had the time to see me.

We baked them a plate of cookies as a small token of our gratitude.

Within 10 minutes she diagnosed my problem.

Vestibulitis.

The treatment was to attend physical therapy sessions.

A physical therapist who happened to just get through schooling for treating vestibulitis, happened to live in my home town.

The exercises were simply looking at the ceiling, then at the floor, ceiling, floor.

At first my attitude was a bit skeptical, but I did what I was told.

I remember after my first session I went home and passed out from exhaustion.

Those simple movements were the beginning of my journey back to health.

Soon I was able to read the math board again without nausea occurring.

I was able to do the work that was missed and catch up well enough to pass that semester.

All throughout I was blessed with inspired teachers that were willing to work with me at home

and inspired people to lift my spirits.

I think back to that car ride leaving the doctors office and that feeling of despair.

When we go through trials that seem never ending it's hard to see the light that is illuminating our way.

However, after the trial, we often look back with joy and see we were led every step of the way.

Our Heavenly Father's hand is in every detail.


Every encouraging letter.

Every smile.

Every ray of sunlight.











He will not forget you,

If you will not forget him.

There is never an excuse to forget our Father in Heaven.

There is never any trial or mistake that we can make that causes us to not be worthy to get down on our knees and seek his comfort.

Seek for his love!

He is the perfect Father.

In the name of His son, who overcame all trials and sorrows, even Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Falling Short

My first day in western New York, I bowed my head in prayer in the Sacred Grove and opened my heart to God.

I promised him that I would be exactly obedient and always work hard on my mission.

Then I set out and tried to live up to what I promised.

But I didn't live up to it.

I found myself some mornings waking up later than I should have.

Frustration found a way into my mind and I allowed it to discourage me.

I hesitated while street contacting and missed an opportunity.

My heavy eyelids won me over and I found myself sleeping through a study session.

I promised Heavenly Father and the Lord that I would work my hardest, yet here I am not being a perfect missionary.

Only two years to completely dedicate all of my time to serve the Lord and I'm not using that time to the fullest!

On one of many nights, I get down on my knees, bow my head, and open my heart to God once again.

Whispering the words in my head, I ask for forgiveness for falling short of my promise once again.

Then most importantly, I ask for the strength to be that missionary that God knows I can be.

My vision of my work has changed since that first day.

I'm not going to be a perfect missionary.

I won't be the perfect person that I want to be.

I'm going to be the person and missionary that God wants me to be, weaknesses and all.

Re evaluate your expectations for yourself,

and align them with the expectations that God has.

Then when you have that vision,

Get down on your knees,

Use the greatest gift God and his beloved Son has ever given you

The Atonement.

and Start Over.

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Am I on a Mission?

My last companion,

Elder Willis, always said something that I loved and find myself saying now,

"Are we on our missions?"

It really hit me every time he said it, heck yah I'm on my mission!!

And how epicly cool is that?

No matter how hard the time we were going through at that point I couldn't help but smile.

I was on a mission. Did I really have a reason to be discouraged?

When we fully grasp where we are and who we are, do we really have a reason to be discouraged?

Are we children of God? Does God really have a plan for us? Do we really have loving Heavenly Parents?

YES!

Don't get discouraged and if you do let it be a small moment

Ask yourself, Are you here on earth?

Because you are. ;)

Which means there is a God, and He loves you and I.

Pray to him! Fervently!

He loves you.

Realize where you are and who you are.

And let it change you!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Hope, Even When All Hope is Lost

I was sitting in church and was trying not to be discouraged as none of the people that the missionaries had been teaching came that Sunday.

About half way through the first meeting my attention was diverted as someone came and sat down next to the missionaries in front of us.

One of the missionaries leaned back and asked us to save the seat  next to us so when their investigator came, he would have a place to sit.

I was stunned.

It was half way through the meeting and this missionary kept the faith and hope that he was going to show!

He never did show and I never did see that missionary become discouraged from it. She kept the faith and hope until the very end. And then when it didn't pan out, transferred that hope and faith to the fact that he will come next week.

We pray for things.

We hope for things.

We have faith that things will happen.

But when they don't it seems like the world is crashing down and we allow ourselves to get frustrated at our Heavenly Father.

He knows much more than we do and a lot of times tests us and directs us to reach our full potential.

Keep the faith and keep the hope.

As long as you are taking care of what He wants you to, everything will work out for the best.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

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You're Not Alone

A not so long time ago, in a not so far away state...

I was in Middle School! It was an ordinary English class in which we were reading a play.

We would take turns reading as different characters and it eventually came my turn to read.

As I read the lines I came across a swear word and nonchalantly grazed over it with a humorous censor "beep" and continued on.

My teacher stopped me and pointed out that I skipped the word and that I should just take advantage of the opportunity and swear in school without getting in trouble.

There I sat, with the class's eyes on me, waiting to hear that word come out of my mouth. People knew I didn't swear, but this wasn't too bad right? it was literature... I sat trying to decide what to do, as I spoke up I found myself defending myself and trying to just get past the fact that I didn't want to say it.

However the teacher continued to try to get me to just say that one word.

What would you do at this point? Honestly ask yourself what you would do at this point. Your teacher is challenging your standards in front of the whole class in whom all are probably agreeing with him. Was one word really that bad?

Luckily I didn't have to make that decision. One of my classmates spoke up and told the teacher that I don't swear and that I'm "not that type of guy."

The teacher backed off and I continued reading with a new-found confidence in myself, my standards, and also those classmates that sat around me. That whole experience I felt as if the spotlight was on me, I had to make the decision, and I had to stand alone in front of the whole class.

However, I wasn't alone. I ask myself if my friend didn't speak up, would I have made the choice to stand alone? Because I had dare to stand alone within friendships and small confrontations, the choice in the end was much easier as my classmate stood up and defended the standards he knew I had.

As we dare to stand alone,

People will see your light and know that you "aren't that type of guy."

Always stand strong and always dare to be a beacon in this ever darkening world.

People will look to you.

They will one day appreciate that you were so willing to live your life in a way to guide others through the storm and ever darkening night unto the loving creator and Savior, in whom is the only source of true joy in this life.

In the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Happiness: A Decision

Recently I had a quite an interesting day as a missionary!

We attended zone conference which is about a 25 mile drive and then we returned home. It wasn't until I walked in to the apartment that I realized we didn't have our phone, and that I left it under a tree back at zone conference. We drove all the way back and used 50 more miles just because I didn't remember the phone.

We helped a family with service that night in which I shattered a light bulb and then proceeded to sweep it all up.

Washed out the truck bed before we hauled things for a member in which we sprayed mud all over our white shirts and ties.

And finally we had clean checks the next morning so I had the opportunity to clean the toilet right before I called it a night.

Sounded like a pretty happy day, right?

Well let me tell you, It was an AWESOME day!

Looking back it made no sense why it was such a great day and as I thought of it more, I realized something.

The 3 hours we spent in the truck were some great times to talk to Elder Ipson and get to know each other just a little bit better! It also was a great opportunity to listen to uplifting music and really invite the spirit.

The family was very grateful for our help, even with the 10 cent broken light bulb.

We looked absolutely ridiculous at our meal appointment looking like Dalmatians from the mud and there was nothing I could do but laugh!

"For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves." (Doctrine & Covenants 58:28)

"We are agents to act, not objects to be acted upon." -Elder Bednar

YOU make the outcome. Choose to act, take charge of your life, and stop allowing excuses for your bad days. Bad days will come, but every bad day is given so we can grow. Don't complain, Grow.

All things are possible through our Savior Jesus Christ and his atonement.

In His name I close, Amen. 

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Perfection

"Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." 3 Nephi 12:48

We are told to become perfect. The key word in what I just said is BECOME.

"The message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is that we can and must expect to BECOME better as long as we live." -Henry B. Eyring

We are saved through being perfect. How can we become perfect? Only through Christ's grace. 

How do we become worthy of Christ's grace? Through living his gospel. 

I get frustrated with myself every single day with the little things that I have trouble with. Why do I get mad at people? Why do I have a hard time talking with some people? Why do I not have enough courage to act on a prompting that I know is from God?

There are so many shortfalls in every day life that I am glad I can see, because even though they can become burdening, they always bring me back to relying on my Heavenly Father. 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27

His grace is always sufficient. No matter how far we stray, how weak we are, how imperfect we are. That goal is achievable. It's not achievable in the next hour or next day, but in the next life. Don't expect to achieve it in this life because we are not meant to. We are to feel imperfect so we can turn to our Heavenly Father in humility. Turn to him, and he will make weak things become strong. 

In the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, whom makes it all possible, Amen. 

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Overcoming Discouragement

My favorite person in the Book of Mormon is Amulek, one of the biggest reasons is because he is someone I can relate to!

Before he was called upon the Lord to serve he was a normal person going about his life. Then Alma, a prophet of God, was revealed unto  him and he ended up going out with Alma and teaching with him!

Could you imagine the prophet coming to your doorstep and asking if you'll go out and be a missionary with him?

That would be pretty awesome.

Amulek was an awesome missionary and taught with the spirit and power. However there's a specific point where I feel like I can really relate to Amulek and that's in chapter 15.

Up to this point Amulek saw people he converted, get thrown in a fire and burned because of their beliefs.(14:10) He was then imprisoned and ridiculed. Stripped naked and abused physically and by words (14:20), then was saved by a miracle and was freed from his afflictions for that moment. (14:27)

He returns to a land where his family and friends live and finds out that they all want to have nothing to do with him because of his beliefs. (15:16)

Was his mission and calling easy? of course not! I don't know if I would be able to bear that much!

In Alma 15:18, we read that Alma, "took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord."

Almulek became discouraged. He was brought down. I know I would have had a hard time going through those afflictions if I even could. Amulek righteously bore his afflictions, and when it became more than he could bare he allowed Alma to help him become strengthened in the Lord.

When we feel as if our afflictions are more than we can bear, turn to the Lord and whether it's on your own or through someone else, strengthen yourself in the Lord.

In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ, Amen.

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